You’re not overwhelmed, you’re overcommitted. Here’s how to feel calm again

December has a certain energy to it, don’t you think?

It’s the month where you’re still doing your normal life… but also:

• doing Christmas prep

• trying to see everyone

• carrying other people’s expectations

• thinking about next year

• AND still trying to function like a calm, rational human being!!!!!

And then we wonder why we feel overwhelmed.

The truth is, you’re not overwhelmed because you’re weak or because you can’t cope with a slightly more hectic schedule.

You’re overwhelmed because you’re overcommitted, on a number of levels.

Most of those commitments aren’t even conscious.

What “overcommitted” really means

Overcommitted doesn’t just mean your diary is full of social events.

It means you’ve taken on more responsibility (emotionally, mentally, physically and energetically) than your nervous system can comfortably cope with.

You’re probably:

• saying yes when you really want to say no (another pre-Christmas get-together?!)

• being an emotional manager (mediating tired children, supporting emotional relatives, holding space for everyone else)

• being the organiser, the worrier, the planner (Have I got the presents? The food? The table decorations for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, even Boxing Day and beyond?)

• feeling guilty for resting (I’m the hostess, I can’t possibly expect other people to help or take responsibility)

• carrying things that aren’t yours to carry (Will everyone have a nice day? Will the food be good enough? Will the children get the presents they want? Have I chosen the “right” gifts?)

Overcommitment is basically tiny leaks of energy everywhere.

And by the end of December, your bucket is often well and truly empty.

Your nervous system isn’t designed for the speed of December

Each day, your nervous system needs:

• stillness

• breathing space

• slowness

• recovery

But December often becomes a month of:

• pressure

• expectation

• busyness

• emotional overload

Your mind says, “It’s fine, I’ve got this. It’s only one day!”

But your nervous system is quietly saying, “Please, for heaven’s sake… slow down.”

When you feel overwhelmed, it’s not something to normalise or compare away, even if it is December.

Your body is telling you “I’m at capacity”.

And if you don’t honour that now, when will you?

If you started seeing your emotions as constant communication, rather than evidence of weakness, you’d live a happier, slower and far more intuitive life, all year round.

The spiritual side: your soul is asking for spaciousness

On a deeper level, overwhelm isn’t just stress. It’s a sign of misalignment with your true self.

Your soul doesn’t want chaos. Chaos comes from expectations, often other people’s and often our own.

Overwhelm is your soul saying: “This isn’t sustainable. This isn’t right. This isn’t what I want. You need to come back to yourself”.

Emotions are simply feedback.

If we paused to ask, “Right, short temper, what are you trying to tell me?” or “Right, tiredness, what do you need?”, we’d focus far more on solving the problem rather than working out how to push through it.

The real issue is usually the story your mind is running about what’s expected of you, often shaped by years, even decades, of conditioning around how Christmas “should” be.

Your emotions are your body being honest with you. Listen for the messages:

• Overwhelm → this is too much

• Flatness → I’ve shut down

• Irritation → a boundary has been crossed

• Tiredness → I need support

So how do you feel calm again?

Here’s what actually works:

1. Remove one thing from your plate

Say no to something. Say yes to help. Or simply ask for it. Your nervous system responds immediately to even the tiniest release.

2. Add one thing that gives you energy

Just one:

• a 10-minute walk

• a hot drink, properly enjoyed

• a favourite song

• a soothing bath

• 5 minutes of intentional breathing

• time with someone from your soul tribe

Small resets are powerful. They tell your system that you’re safe.

3. Stop trying to keep everyone happy

This is the biggest energy leak.

Managing other people’s happiness or expectations is emotionally expensive. Let people have their own feelings.

If someone’s disappointed you can’t see them before Christmas, so be it.

If someone’s annoyed they can come at 3pm instead of 10am on Christmas Day, so be it.

Pause and ask yourself: How much energy can I realistically give this Christmas and how am I going to protect it?

4. Protect your mornings or evenings

You need pockets of rest. Your soul needs space to breathe.

It’s okay to slow down and do things that genuinely fill your cup.

5. Lower the bar for December

You don’t need to be the:

• perfect mum

• perfect daughter

• perfect wife

• perfect host

• perfect gift-giver

You can choose ease. You can choose “good enough”. You can choose 50%.

Listen to your body and do what feels good, at a soul level.

6. Don’t push through signals that say “I need rest”

Your body whispers before it shouts and only you are responsible for listening.

• When you feel tired → rest

• When you feel irritated → pause

• When you feel rushed → slow down

• When you feel overstimulated → breathe

• When you feel empty → nourish yourself

7. Ask yourself: “What am I taking on that isn’t mine?”

This one is huge. So much overwhelm comes from carrying other people’s expectations, emotions and needs.

Put down what isn’t yours. Your soul already has enough to manage.

A gentle reminder before Christmas arrives

Right now, your job is simply to slow your energy, create space and choose calm over chaos.

You’ll feel so much more like yourself when you stop overcommitting to the things that drain you.

There is a much softer way to live. And it starts with listening to your energy.

Love Abbie x