Life Isn’t Meant To Feel Like This
Most of us are taught a very simple version of what life is about:
Be healthy
Get a job
Make some money
Raise your children well
Try to be happy
And yes, all of those things matter.
But I don’t think that’s actually why we’re here.
If life was only about:
avoiding illness
paying the bills
getting through the school years,
something HUGE would feel missing.
And for a lot of people, it does feel missing.
For many people, life is “fine” on the surface but underneath, they feel:
Is this it?
Is this all life is meant to be?
I don’t think it is at all.
What Are We Really Teaching Our Children?
Let’s start with parenting.
Most of us are trying to raise:
kind children
confident children
successful children
We help with homework. We take them to clubs. We teach them manners and routines.
But I think the deeper question is: What are we teaching them about life?
Are we teaching them:
how to listen to themselves?
how to understand their emotions?
how to choose what feels right for them, not just what looks good?
Or are we accidentally teaching them:
to please everyone
to ignore their feelings
to chase approval
to believe life is about achievement and coping
because our children don’t learn most from what we say, they learn from:
how we treat ourselves
how we handle stress
how we talk about our lives
what we believe matters
We’re not just raising children. We’re shaping how another human being understands life.
And that’s a big job.
Why Do You Want to Be Healthy?
Health is another good example.
A lot of people say they want to be healthy so they:
don’t have a heart attack
don’t get ill
live longer
And of course, that matters but I think there’s a deeper reason underneath.
Most people don’t really want “good blood pressure”.
They want:
energy
freedom
to enjoy their life
to feel at home in their body
They want to:
run around with their kids
feel confident in themselves
wake up with some excitement for the day
So health isn’t just about avoiding disease. It’s about asking: How do I want to experience being alive?
That’s a very different question.
Is Money the Point…?
Money is another one.
We’re taught:
Get qualifications
Get a good job
Earn more
Be secure
And again, money matters. Of course. We all need it.
But is the goal really just:
a bigger house
nicer holidays
a higher number in the bank
Or is money actually meant to support something deeper?
Like:
freedom
choice
creativity
purpose
time
peace
So many people make good money but feel empty, bored, trapped or exhausted.
Because money on its own doesn’t give life meaning.
It only works when it’s supporting a life that actually fits who you are.
Meaningful Work and Feeling Like You Matter
There’s another part of life we don’t talk about enough.
Contribution. Work. Purpose.
Most of us are taught to think about work like this:
What pays well
What’s secure
What looks impressive
What fits around the kids
And again, all of that matters.
But very few people stop and ask the deeper question: What do I actually want to give to the world?
Work isn’t just about earning money. It’s about:
how you spend most of your days
what you use your energy on
what you’re building with your life
Many many people do jobs they don’t love. Jobs that drain them. Jobs that don’t use their gifts. And they tell themselves:
“This is just how life is”
“This is what being responsible looks like”
But underneath, there’s sadness. Not because these people are ungrateful but because human beings are all wired to want to:
matter
contribute
use their strengths
feel like their life means something
We don’t just want to earn. We want to feel useful. We want to feel proud of what we do. We want to feel that, in some small way, we’re making things better.
And that doesn’t have to mean changing the world or having a big mission. Sometimes it’s:
how you show up in your work
how you support other people
how you care for your children
how you bring kindness, honesty and/or creativity into what you do
When your work and your contribution line up with who you really are, life starts to feel very different.
Relationships: More People or Deeper Connections?
Same with relationships.
We can fill our lives with:
lots of friends
busy diaries
group chats and social plans
But connection isn’t about quantity. It’s about:
being seen
being understood
feeling safe to be yourself
One deep relationship where you can truly be you is worth a million of where you’re always performing.
So we have to switch the question from “How many people do I know?” to “Who do I feel most myself with?”
It’s not a numbers game. It’s an alignment piece.
A Word About Growth And It Isn’t About Fixing Yourself
A lot of self help and personal development tools make it sound like:
You’re broken
You need fixing
You need upgrading
I don’t believe that at all. I think self help and personal growth is really about:
understanding yourself
unlearning what isn’t true
coming back to who you really are (before the world told you who you had to be)
Mind, Body and Soul Are Not Separate
We’re generally taught:
mind = thoughts
body = health
life = practical stuff
But in real life, everything is connected:
Your thoughts affect your body
Your emotions affect your energy
Your beliefs affect your relationships
Your nervous system affects how safe life feels
When you feel:
anxious
flat
overwhelmed
disconnected
that’s not just “in your head”. That’s your whole system telling you something needs to change.
You are not just a body trying to survive. You’re a whole human being trying to make sense of being alive.
Bringing It All Together: Living in Alignment
This is where it all connects. Parenting. Health. Money. Work. Relationships. Growth.
They’re not separate parts of your life. They are all reflections of the same thing: How well you understand yourself.
Because when you don’t really know yourself, life can sometimes feel:
confusing
heavy
like you’re constantly trying to get it right
But when you understand:
how your mind works
how your emotions work
what matters to you
what drains you and what gives you energy
what you’re here to give
Something massive changes. You stop living on autopilot and you start making choices that actually fit you.
You choose:
relationships that feel safe
work that feels meaningful
boundaries that protect your energy
goals that excite you, not just impress other people
This is what alignment really means. Living in a way that feels true.
So What Are We Actually Here For?
I don’t think we’re here just to:
stay healthy
make money
raise children
and get through the years
I think we’re here to:
understand ourselves
understand life
grow emotionally
heal old patterns
learn how to love better
and bring meaning into everything we do
Parenting with awareness. Working with purpose. Caring for our bodies with respect. Choosing relationships with depth. Living in a way that feels true.
Because when you understand yourself and how life works, you start living in alignment.
And this is when life stops feeling like something you’re surviving and starts feeling like something you actually love.
And that, I think, is the real point.
Love Abbie x